Monday, September 17, 2007

Yikes! Put Those Things Away!

"Early Morning Test" - 5 x 7" colored pencil on paper.
Copyright 2007 Maggie Stiefvater.
Click here to bid.

I thought today I'd answer a reader's question, scrubbing out all personal names and details so that their identity remains more secret than Britney Spear's career plans.

The reader writes:
We are starting an Art Association in a small town of 3,000. Had 11 at first meeting which I thought was great and more said they are coming. We had a problem right at the first meeting though. A young man brought some artwork that was gruesome and almost pornographic. It's not something I would like to promote on an Art Association Website or say that we are even a part of. (He does have some decent work that is quite beautiful, so he won't be excluded entirely) You are so good with words can you help us with guidelines? What are your thoughts on this?

Having been to a couple different art association meetings, I know that this is a problem that haunts a lot of them. A set of guidelines or a charter of some sort is a very good idea.

This is what mine will say when I'm Queen of America:

The Queen of America Art Adoration Year Round Festival and Artists Group exists for the promotion of artistic types and the beautification of otherwise Ugly Places. We (that's the Royal We) also endeavor to provide a supportive environment for artistic types to further their abilities. A major part of the QAAAYRFAG is the public promotion of our work in the form of exhibitions and college students wearing sandwich boards displaying our art. The QAAAYRFAG does not discriminate by medium, though sculpture should be of a permanent nature (the exception being statues constructed from donuts, because the Queen is very interested to see what could be done with donuts as an artistic medium). Because the Queen does not care to be titillated on the way to work or while going through public places where group exhibitions hang, works of a pornographic nature or featuring Jason Statham will not be permitted. Tasteful nudity is permitted, however, the Queen will have to stare at all of pieces featuring nudity to see if they gross her out or not.

Now, since I understand that not all exhibitions are run by the future Queen of America (c'est moi), I recommend this boiler plate version instead:

Everytown Art Association exists for the promotion of artists (you can specify 2D here) and to increase public awareness of the arts in Everytown. The group also endeavors to provide a supportive environment for artists to further their studies. A major part of the EAA is the public promotion of members' work in the form of exhibitions, which will be juried by ____ (or by an outside juror selected by the members). The EAA does not discriminate by medium, though sculpture should be of a permanent nature. Because the EAA's exhibitions will be held in venues open to the public, works of a pornographic nature will not be permitted. Tasteful nudity is permitted, however, works containing nudity must be approved by the president/ head honcho before being allowed in a public exhibition. We also ask that members do not bring pornographic works or works with gratuitous nudity to group meetings.

Now . . . puppy pics tomorrow!


Dee said...

Is it really bad that I pronouce QAAARYFAG in my head as Queerfag? *heh*

The sandwich board is a great idea, and I am definitely interested in assisting with the donut sculpture assessment!

Alison said...

Yes you gave me an idea with the sandwich board!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely beautiful drawing! It's wonderful of you to take the time to answer someone's question. :) Thanks for sharing all of that!

Debbie said...

Speaking of dounut sculptures, a dear friend of mine had a weeding cake made completely of Krispe-Kreme donuts.

Anonymous said...

Also speaking of art made of donuts... :D

Maggie Stiefvater said...

Dee - the accepted pronunciation is Karifog.

Alison - I want royalties!

Angela- the Future Queen is always Magnanimous. ;)

Debbie - they must've been channeling me!

Meg - now that's pretty yummy.